I got Chase's phone number

I am so proud of myself. I was like, "Hey bitch, gimme yo digits" and he was like, "Oh yes sir, I would love to please you in any way possible" and then I was like, "well?"
"I cannot move. I am in awe of your awesomeness."
"Yes Chase, I know. Just hand me your phone"
"I love you."
"One day I hope to return the favor"


God! That would be so cool if it actually happened like that. That is the shit of legend.

Philosophy class is coooooool!!!!!!!!!!

7 minutes

YEP

Respect

Hey people I adore, whats going on? Rhetorical question! What's happening is, you are reading. End of story.






Not really. If I had done that, this would be a very depressing read. but on to the fun...
I call it: Kyles from the fifth dimension. And yes, I did notice it looks like kyle is pooping, or at least trying to.



I think I gained the respect of one of my co-workers today. I was in the break room getting ready to leave, when she walked in and said, "not every day is this bad."
To which I responded, "Bad? No. Today was fun."
"Why was that?"
"Because if I have a choice between a bad day and a good, I will always choose good."
She seemed puzzled by the words I had just spoken, but then she smiled, looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Thank you"
Its at times like those, you realize that the only was people truly, truly listen to you is when they respect you. If you tell some random person to change their life, will they listen? But tell someone who fears/loves/worships/understands you and they will listen.

Now It's time for a short script. Honestly I am only putting this on here because Jason put one up. And in all honesty I might as well be riding his coat tails. But here goes nothing...

How 'bout a story of a guy, a guy who is abnormal. OK how's this: a bunch of guys are sitting around a picnic table and one by one they all list off what they are eating. (Its about 5-11 guys)
Guy 1:OK, show what ya got boys. But no one can top my fake plastic sandwich I stole from my daughter's fake kitchen.
Guy 2:I'm eating salt :3
Guy 3:Same as always...broken glass
Guy 4:My wife made my lunch today :) Ha, it's a note that says, "I want a divorce"
Guy 1:Oh fuck you Glen...do you want to trade?
Guy 5:NO! No trading. I AM EATING THIS TABLE!!!!
Guy 6:Suck it bitches, cat litter.
Guy 7: I'll do you one better. This morning I went to the doctor and had my heart removed and replaced with an artificial one.
Guy3:What did he do with your heart?
Guy 7:(blood all over his face) never mind
Guy 1:What about you Jim?
Guy 8:GUN! (puts gun in mouth and camera turns away. You hear a gun shot, and everyone gets covered in blood)
Guy 9:Shhhh! I'm doing photosynthesis
Guy 4:Adam, what about you?
Guy 10:I got a black person.
Everyone:Dude! That's fuckin' racist. Get the hell away from our table. (guy 10 leaves)
Guy 11:Ok, anyone want some of this Korean guy?


That's what I got. Help if you want, or don't.

And here is a video of what happens in Taylor's mind


Sometimes, hope is what makes us smile.
Other times, a smile is what can bring us hope.
-MC Taylor McPondy

literally 30 seconds

that's how long it took me to create this beautiful, semi Abraham Lincoln, Kyle.

I think I tried too hard

Has the media war become a Kyle off? The only reason I ask, is because, I just spent about 2 hours (plus time to fart around) making this.

It might be the best thing I've ever created. Look how professional I am!!!

The tutorial to make those eyes was extremely confusing, so I said screw this, and I did it my own way. I hope this sets the standard of drawing Kyle from now on. I think I messed up though, look at the beard. Its missing a little bit on the left side, but otherwise that I am very proud.

I need to go to San Jac, but I can't tomorrow, because I work. So I'm gonna have to do it on Wednesday. Oh, speaking of work tomorrow, I got a call this morning and it was Nicole. Nicole is one of my bosses. She said I could work tomorrow and Thursday. So I said, what shall I be doing? And she said, you will be on a cashier tomorrow and Thursday you will be in Harmon. Regardless of what she said, I was gonna say yes. Because lets face it, I'm a yes man. The problem is I have no idae whats in Harmon. Its the section where we keep the cosmetics, perfume, razors, deoderant, and condoms lol. I'm planning on bs-ing my way through the day.

Also. where in the world is Kyle Sandiego?

and for your consideration...I win



this isn't for the competition, I just thought you people with a facebook would enjoy this a little.




Ask yourself this question:
"Will this matter a year from now?"
-TP

Apple is so racist

"You haven't blogged in a while, what's up with that?" Well here ya go Kyle.

I am gonna write a romantic comedy.

Sally and Calvin have been best friends ever since homeschooling. Knowing they were both madly in love with each other, but related by blood, they set off on an adventure to find the perfect match for the other. During the quest to find the best matches they stumble upon a blind dating service. A literal blind dating service. As they work their way through the hopeful dates they start to realize they all have dogs, and have no idea where they are. So Sally and Calvin run outside and Calvin dies. Instantly. I don't know why. Not long after the funeral, Sally finds a nice man and they move in together. But soon the ghost of Calvin comes back from the grave and kills the new guy. After sally realizes what Calvin has done she decides to become a super hero and fight villainy with her "ghost powers". Then something happens and she dies too. The end.

How was that? Awesome? Splendorous? Super mega cool pants?
Why yes Kyle, this did take me three years to think of. No Jason, I wont write a sequel starring Ryan Renalds, but if I did it would look like this.

She falls in love with Ryan Renalds, then they all live happily ever after. Or do they?

I don't know if the media off includes pictures or just video, so here is both.
















Forget about all those sex with girls, lets color!
-Von Pond



Also, I am the new master of MS paint!!!!