Why is everything changing? I hate it, and I'm sure someone else does too. I wish we were still in school, in a place where we could be together, happy. Everyone is moving away from my reach both physically and emotionally. I want the old days back, the days where we could make plans in a few seconds and everyone would rather drop what their doing to do it. Its like nobody cares about everyone they leave, especially me. I love everyone, and I need constant love from close friends or I will go insane. Please let that threaten you enough to stay with me.
I have to take defensive driving soon. I waited till the last minute and now I don't know if I can get it done in time. I would request off work but the process takes 2 weeks to buffer it's way through our systems. I might as well do the online class.
Not too long ago, I was at the grocery store buying food and shit. I ended up in the aisle with the soda and bottled water and stuff, and I notice this short-ass woman trying her best to reach the off-brand Diet Dr. Cola bullshit they have on the top shelf (it was on sale, I guess). This lady was struggling pretty hard, even started climbing on the shelves and shit when I just reached up and grabbed it, passed it to her and gave her a wink. She thanked me, and I proceeded to say "No problem, God blessed ME with height!"
What I said was unintentionally fucked up. "I'm tall, you aren't. I can reach products that you can't - I guess God fucked you on that one, huh?" I mean, it was supposed to be an innocent joke...you know how sometimes you start saying something that you slowly start to regret as you progress through the sentence, and about halfway through it gets a little too late to stop, so you have to finish what you were saying and sound like a complete jackass? Man, I'm far too familiar with the flavor of my foot. Or for you UK guys, the flavour of my foout.
Actually, I think it was the very same day that I was in the cereal aisle, comparing different boxes of breakfast cereals and trying to decide what to pick up. Some other, older lady was standing there when I settled on Raisin Bran - I guess I felt like making someone laugh, so I held up the box like a Raisin Bran spokesperson and said "MMMM! 2 scoops of raisins in every box!" then smacked my lips.
That was kinda awkward. She just kinda looked at me with squinty, dagger eyes and said some shit like "uh huh", then grabbed some flavorless oat cluster shit for old fucks and just walked away. It's like, hey lady - I just went out of my way to drop 2 scoops of humor into your life, the least you could do is maybe crack a smile or...ANYTHING. Don't wuss out on me and walk away like I'm some piece of shit who isn't worth your precious time.
I should stop trying to help and start being the awkward guy who watches people and doesn't move, that would be fun.
dont talk to strangers. they will give you hand aids.
ReplyDeleteThanks Kyle I'll be sure to put that in a... "A long walk away?!?" how gay.
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